Emotional masochist
I once dated someone I referred to as an emotional sadist. And if emotional sadists are a thing, then emotional masochists must be too… right? Because sometimes, I catch myself leaning into the emotional burn on purpose. Like part of me wants to jump into the boiling water just to feel it—to finally release everything I’ve been holding in. My brain turns into a pressure cooker, and when it builds up too much, I need the steam to escape somehow. Sometimes that means letting myself hurt, just to get it out. Maybe this is what spanking feels like for some of y’all. A sharp little zap, a thud many thuds. Until you cry. Then the amazing aftercare that feels so good. I wish I was less of a baby about pain. I’m sure a therapist would trace it back to the marriage I spent my early emotional years in. The slow, steady kind of damage—the little things and the medium things that added up over time. The fights, the tears, the aftermath. And then the weird high that came after, when att...