Todays the day (Again)

So I already talked about what happened March 31 2023 in the last blog that I wrote a year ago. Today I want to talk about how much has changed in the last 3 years.

☝I have learned a lot about why my brain does the things that it does. I have learned to short circuit it before it causes me lots of pain. I have learned to see some of the warning signs that I am making poor choices.

Now… I'm still a HOT MESS sometimes. But I am also a lot of other things.

I have learned to share my feelings. And that sharing my feelings would not result in being iced out or harmed.😐

I have learned you can have a disagreement without a hole ending up in the wall behind your head! 

I have learned that men get loud for so many reasons and they are joyous reasons. Singing, laughing, hooting, hollering! (I still shrink when there's a loud sudden noise especially a male voice, but it's less often.)

I learned that other people care about me JUST as much as I care about other people. This is something that still boggles my mind. I love to make people happy (people pleasers please stand up) but did you know OTHER PEOPLE want me to feel that happiness?

I am IN LOVE💗. Yeah yeah I'll admit it. I love some people and it's scary. So scary. But I am letting myself swim in the hot springs of these happy feelings.

Things to remember now that brain 🧠is somewhat healed (cause that fucker still gets me often):
Not everyone has your best interest at heart… but also don't push people away at the first doubt.

I tell you what, I can't count the number times Meta has had to say “Erica they are totally doing that hurtful thing on purpose!” 👹and my brain is like WAIT WHAT? Why? Why would someone do that to a person on purpose? Just be honest?!?!

It's so hard to think of the bad side of people. But I'll tell you what this little rockstar wants to do — BOLT the first moment she gets that little shocked feeling in her chest when a person hurts her. Often times the hurt was unintentional and born of some attachment issues but damn it!!!

Ok that was so much rambling. But remember Erica… Erica circa 3/31/26 is SO much more healed than ever before. Even PRE Mark's death.

💓These next 2 days will be rough (shout out to Zeke for turning this into a 3 day event remember I was at the emergency vet with him April 2 is coming).

I have done a lot of writing about dating and other things but haven't shared them here. Just know I do write, and journal ALL the time.




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